Since the feminist movement of the 1970s, our culture has trained women to be offended by the Bible’s clear direction regarding submission in the home. One such offensive passive reads as follows:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives should [submit] to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, to make her holy, cleansing her in the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of His body” (Ephesians 5:22–30).

In many cases, those who are appalled at verse 22 have not considered the surrounding context and the main message the Apostle Paul is aiming to convey. In the immediately preceding text, verses 15–21, Paul exhorts his readers to “pay careful attention to how you walk … submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.” His intent then is not to separate men from women according to value but instead, to assert a mutual submission.

The woman is to recognize her husband’s leadership, but she does so without losing any value. Genesis 1:27 says that both men and women are God’s image bearers, and Paul never refutes that. He even says clearly in Galatians 3:28 that by faith in Christ every person is an heir to eternal glory, regardless of lineage, social status, or gender. We “are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Now consider the remainder of verses 22–30 and to whom Paul gives the most attention. He provides much detail regarding how husbands are to submit to their wives. After all, for submission to be mutual it must be the responsibility of both parties. Men, you must “love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, to make her holy.” Jesus literally gave his life so that His church could be declared righteous and thereby saved from judgment.

To love your wife in this way means that you put her concerns above your own. It means that you protect her from anything that will harm her, especially from spiritual adversaries. Submit to your wife through sacrificial love, just as King Jesus gave Himself for those who submit to His headship. But don’t wait for your wife to do her part. You lead by loving her regardless of whether or not she respects your headship in the home. In doing so, you are imitating Christ, which is the highest calling of every believer.